Going Deep:

In searching for Ones Truth, you must go deep into your body, then your mind, then your spirit, then your soul and then one step further.  I was meditating in the chapel this morning and I wanted to separate myself as much as I humanly can (at least to the point of my current awareness). I am attempting to write down the internal conversation I had with myself….

I started by observing of my body. I was watching my breath go in and out of my lungs, then I focused on my blood flow as my heart beated. I was feeling my sense of touch as I sat on my chair, then my sense of smell as the aroma of the candles hit my nose. I then turned my attention to taste, sight and hearing. I was observing how all these thing where going on simultaneously. I was like a machine, an organic functioning machine tuned to perfection.  I am observing my body and I understood that I am not my body because my body is constantly changing.  I then started to observe my brain.  I was observing my thoughts as they came into my mind.  My physical body would react to my thoughts as fast as my thoughts would come in.  With happy thoughts my body would react a certain way. With sad thoughts my body would react in a different way. I tried many different thoughts and I was observing many different reactions. I realized that I am not my thoughts because my thoughts change.  I then proceeded to observe my characters, like my husband character.  How does he think?  My dad character.  How does he think?  My friend character. How does he think? My job character. How does he think? My religious character.  How does he think?  My spiritual character.  How does he think? I observed that each character was conditioned to think a certain way. Why?? What is this conditioning?? Who conditioned me to think in any particular way??   Hmmm...I pondered??  I realized that I am none of these characters because these characters change. Then I proceeded to observe my spirit.  This supper natural energy force that is radiating from my body. I was observing this flow of energy in me and around me moving at a very fast pace. This electrical energy was holding the system in place and allowing it to operate. I then I turned my attention away from the spirit and started to observe my soul. I realized that this was the source of the spirit energy. I was observing a ball of plasma like substance in the center of my body with unbelievable power and energy....I just stared at it. I observed a bright white light at the center with a light orange and light yellow glow at its edge. I was mesmerized.  Is that who I Am?? Is that it?? Then it dawn on me......Who is doing all this observing??  Can I see the person doing the observing?? Who is this person?? Is it a deeper version of me??  Is it God?? Is it Jesus Christ?? After contemplating this for a long time, I concluded that this "observer" were all of those things. The observer of the observer is my I AM my True Self. He is a creator, as Christ, as God. I was reminded of Genesis: God created me in his image and likness, which gives me his ability to create. I Am Christ because Christ lives in me so therefore I Am Christ.  It also reminded me of the bible verse "In truth I tell you, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me." Mathew 25:40  Jesus Christ is in all of humanity. We are all Christ. So as I continued to contemplate this idea, I concluded that I Am the creator of my life, right here on earth. I get to create the life as I choose with the choices and actions I make. So therefore, everything that has happened to me I created it in one way or another. I am ultimately responsible for it All. I have the ultimate power to create or destroy. I also realized, that there must be a better way to create, due to my past experiences. Why wasn't I taught this at an early age?? Why was I not taught that the Laws of God and its creative powers are with in me?? Shouldn't this be common knowledge?? Why has this knowledge been kept from all of us?? Then the real question came to me….What should I create?? Should I even create?? Do I even need to create?? What is my true purpose anyways?? Cant I just go along for the ride?? Well, the answer to this is YES to all those questions. I can do what ever I want, its MY CHOICE. But according to Gods Law, ALL choices come with consequences. Even non choices!! (Read Mathew 25:14-40 for better understanding.) I understand physical laws like gravity. When I fall, I get hurt. I learned this early in my life that there is a force the draws me down. Besides the physical laws there are also non-physical Laws, spiritual laws if you will. I have fallen many times and it has taken me many hardships to finally understand that there is a better way. There is another force driving me down when I fall, a different type of gravity. This force ultimately took me to my True Self. With this Awareness, I can now stop “hurting” myself. I can now use this creative power to create a life of beautiful abundance and Love.  It is my duty to use the "talents" God gave me. We all need to go and create so the world can see the goodness in God....

(I still have much to learn)